i wanted to go back and write a little more about Zhang Zhen-yue's Ok album. The simple fact that after all this time, the entire album remains in my MP3 player, just goes to show how much it has become an important part of my life. Perhaps, i can wean myself off it after i write a bit more about it.

First of all, i have quite a number of his CDs. Full name, Zhang Zhen-yue 張震嶽, he is also 'affectionately' called A-yue. He made his debut years ago in his teens, a fresh-faced aboriginal teen. I have one song in the Treasure Island soundtrack, called Hate Summer. He took a hiatus and joined the national service which is compulsory in Taiwan. When he returned, he took the music scene by storm with 'Boring Afternoon', a grungy-Taiwan-rock album with down-to-earth lyrics that spoke straight into the minds of teenagers. And he has a band now, Free Night. He also dabbles in live music (i don't know what you call it) like Lim-giong, as DJ Orange. OK is his fifth album, i think. I have all except one as A-yue and one EP as DJ Orange (the one which the cover is picture of an orange). Some people cannot like his voice, which is kinda reedy but they still like some of his songs which are very 'listenable' with lyrics that i can only describe as everyday thoughts into poetry.

Now for OK, (i wanted to put in some of the information which came out in the media some time ago but, afterthought - i'll not. It's simply rude and insensitive to speculate.) I think one of the most famous labum covers around is the Beatles' Abbey Road album which has the Fab Four walking across a road, supposedly to represent a funeral march. (BTW, i don't own any Beatles album - hint2)

So somehow, i feel that this is album has a quiet solemnity about it, perhaps more of a wake of sorts.

Note that his album cover is a total departure from his other ones. He is in funereal black, a suit to boot. Head bowed (you can't see his face), carrying a guitar. It really looks like he is paying his respects with this album. Overall, the music is more toned down from his earlier ones, mostly ballads with rap.


First track: 念是一种病 or Missing (you) is a Kind of Illness seems to sum up the sound for the entire album. He shares composing/writing credits with Chyi Chin, which up till now i can't seem to find a reference to.This version has Tanya Chua accompanying, lending enough of her sexy voice to create more pathos.





His skill in lyric writing makes him one of the more formidable singer-composers of today. It isn't specially poetic or 'skilled' when it comes to the choice of words, usually. But the lyrics in this entire album does transcend some of his grungier ones, a bit of them harking to his much earlier work such as Hate Summer. He is no Lin Xi - yet you can relate to him easily - the modern folk rocker that he is. The simple words, slang and even the semi-swear words do make the songs poetry, although of a everyman kind. In 路口 Street Intersection (Track 3), he even punctuates with a tiny 'Ma-de', a close equivalent to 'motherfxxxker'.

As you listen you realise it's an album of good-byes and memories. Take the ninth track. He shares he 'singing' credits with MC Hotdog and Patty Hou. Called 就让这首歌 Let This Song..., i was surprised and impressed with Patty Hou (which later made me see her in a better light when she acted in the drama 'Delicious relationships'. This is another song of goodbyes, or rather one which describes a mutual goodbye. Intros with - let this song, play and play tonight. We are both not wrong, only we see much clearer now the things we did not understand. There is nothing to be said, let's not say it yet, let's just keep silent. A final embrace, the end of a love. 

Hence, we need to go into detail one tracks 7 and 11, entitled 再见Goodbye. The seventh track is a faster more upbeat comparatively, while the final track - as finales go - is slow, slow death. My little sister tells me this song is in the soundtrack of a movie, where one of the protaganists is being battered to death. Ugh, cruel. Because, it begins with: i'm afraid i will never have the chance, to say a word of goodbye to you, because maybe i may never see you again. (tears will start filling your eyes la)

If between the goodbyes, there is a song which preludes it all. A song that speaks and is sung for those who were left behind. If you have ever had that feeling, you will know, a song which reminds me of Rene Liu's Men (Door). The words speak true of a person who is now forever afraid to be left behind without a clue or a sign, begging to be told of the exit. I can believe these words as i would and have felt this pain and can never forget being left behind without much of a word. Can't you trust me enough to tell me first? , they all seem to say. And you can feel it in - 孤獨的夜哨 Lonely Evening Whistle.

I sometimes think that 小宇 Small Space is an extension of Lonely Evening Whistle, or perhaps a mirror. As the protagonist throws caution to the winds with a declaration - I don't care what happens in the future, as long as we are happy now. I don't care how it would end, at least the person i would miss is you. I don't care what happens in the future, but i want to see you each day. i don't care how it would end, i would like to be with you. These two songs have become personal somewhat, as they speak too what i believe much in and fear most.  

很难Very Difficult, track 4, is one of my favourites. The chorus should be my theme - for: At times i would like to lock myself away, or perhaps, learn to open up the doors to my heart. The ties between people (the direct translation should be: a man and another) becomes blind and deaf, becoming used to (disconnected coldness). At times i would shed tears, without reason. Do not tell me this is self pity, self doubt. Who would not want to be like the birds, free and untethered, who does not hope to be, who doesn't - only it is very difficult.  Somehow, this song is a mirror, and extension of Bobby Chen's Ran-er (But), of which he ends with - I want you - free(dom) like a bird.

As for the song that takes the album title - OK ...? It is as if he wants to say - eventhough i'm alone, i'm getting along, i'm OK. The words we always use ourselves when we do not know how to describe the awful things life has thrown us, but we persevere, wounded but hopeful. We are OK.

And so:

And so as you soar above the hills and valleys, i am on a lonely road that never ends. I often feel your breath, at the back of my ear, but never feel your beating of your heart. 
At times, we forget the people around us need to be loved and cared for, excuses are distances we prolong. Unexpected, all of a sudden, soundless and untraceable, we are always complaining about ways and means, yet never willing to look within ourselves, thinking if we have done anything stupid, perhaps it is a test (from  God). Only this wound needs more time, only we would still miss/remember the past, those people or happenings or things will leave me far behind, and we will eventually leave them to turn into memories. 

I'm OK. I hope you are OK, too.
(by the way, i started to write this post on 2nd November 2008.)

Ahah!

I know, i know. This is really old news. Lately, i've been reading about who-who just died. But this author comes as a surprise (to us who have not heard of her until recently, and didn't bother to find out more).

I wanna go out and buy A Swift Pure Cry now. Not many chances to read more of her works. (even tho London Eye Mystery was published posthumously) Ultimately, her books may fall into oblivion, not having had much time to mature and people to create interest about her. I'm so sorry to say it but that's the truth. Then again, when one has passed on, only those who stay behind care about these things. The departed leaves the ordinary and mortal to the living.

Siobhan Dowd, rest in peace http://www.siobhandowd.co.uk/

On another similar subject, Philippa Pearce have passed on quietly. Her final book is only now out: A Finder's Magic. ... And yes, makes me wanna go buy and read Tom's Midnight Garden.

I think it sounds rather too lighthearted, this post. But i don't mean it to be. It's only the realisation that when an author dies, their family mourns. So do the readers who have loved their books. So do the booksellers. We mourn the departed, the books that never get written and perhaps the readers who will never have a chance to read this author's works.

I've been finding it a burden to switch on the computer at home. I gues it could be due merely to the fact that the line is rather erratic so i have problems loading anything at all, unless after midnight. But i've not been getting much sleep lately, hence i konk out around then.

So, I've decided to write whenever i can and schedule to publish one by one. Sound like cheating ...

But i write the blog in my mind the whole week anyway.

Tanya Chua. Some people love her, some can't stand her. As for me ... i like this song 達爾文 (read as Da-Oh-Wen) and subsequently bought the album, one year after it was released, which technically means i needed convincing, too. Then i totally fell in love with the lyrics. I think the problem is a lot of people can't get over how the singer sounds to actually listen to the lyrics. i for one needs to read the lyrics because my chinese is damn bad and listening skills are below reading skills, somehow. Maybe is the way Tanya pronounces, quite affected sometimes.

Still, i will be the first to admit that i'm a true sucker for folksy tunes, accompanied by smooth guitar riffs and lyrics that you can truly relate to. (more of that later)

Since i've been stuck on this song and trying to live on it for days ... here it is and the meaning of it. Before that ... i never realised that my friends were all ... well, some of the Chinese speaking and 'reading' ones, either anti-Tanya or have no general knowledge. I kept asking the ones whom i thought would like Tanya and would at least have some semblance of 'intelligence', if the title of this song translated was Darwin. Turns out, none of them could help me ... and i found it on Wikipedia.

Now you know.

This song 達爾文 or Darwin. Lyrics, roughly explained, because i'm not up to the level of doing proper translating. Words by 小寒 (Xiao-Han), music by Tanya

我的青春 也不是沒傷痕
My younger days (youth) were not without it's share of scars
是明白愛是信仰的延伸
It was realising that love is an extension of belief/faith
甚麼特徵 人緣還是眼神
Whatever attributes, be it charisma or eye contact/gaze
也不會預知愛不愛的可能
Could still not foretell the possibility of love
保持單身 忍不住又沉淪
Remained single, yet could not help sinking (perishing)
兜著圈子來去有時苦等
Going in circles, to and fro (coming and going), at times bitterly awaiting
人的一生 感情是旋轉門
In one's life, tender emotions are revolving doors
轉到了最後真心的就不分
As it revolves to the end, those who are true will not part
有過競爭 有過犧牲
You've had competition, you've had to sacrifice
被愛篩選過程
In the natural selection of Love (In Love's screening process)
學會認真 學會忠誠
You've learned to be earnest, you've learned loyalty
適者才能生存
Only those who are deemed suitable survive
懂得永恆 得要我們
To understand eternity, we would have to
進化成更好的人
Evolve into better people
我的青春 有時還蠻單純
My younger days were sometimes quite naive
相信幸福取決於愛得深
I believed that happiness stemmed from how deep you loved
讀進化論 我贊成達爾文
Reading the Theory of Evolution, I agreed with Darwin
沒實力的就有淘汰的可能
If you are not fit (strong), you may be eliminated
我的替身 已換過多少輪
My substitutes have changed so many times as well
記憶在舊情人心中變冷
The memories in my ex's heart have turned cold
我的一生 有幾道旋轉門
In my entire life, how many revolving doors are there?
轉到了最後只剩你我沒分
As it revolves to the end, turns out that you and me have not parted

Ok ok, i know so-called explanation is not that great either. I might tweak later. (might!)

SONG FOR A MOOD
達爾文/Darwin - Tanya Chua. Whatelse, whatelse ... There are two versions. But i like the first one. It may change your mind about Tanya, it may not. I just love this song for all the good reasons.

Bought an album a couple weeks back, called Recollection, a selection of 90s gayo hits, rearranged and performed by the duo of Fly to The Sky (FTTS).

Wow! i think i'm in love with The Voice (despite him being so insecure over his looks)... okokok, it is The Voices, cos Brian Joo's not bad either. Does this mean i'm no longer totally in love with Mr M's music? Or for all that, Bobby Chen?

I guess not. I find that i'm always nicely ready to accept and see clearly the flaws of those 'idols'. Half an hour ago, i caught this Taiwanese concert on TV, and there was this guy singing a cutesy song in a small voice. I was so duhhhhh put-off. Then i had a double take - OH MY GOD, it's Joe Cheng! Honestly, i think he's one of the best young actors to come out of Taiwan, of late. But from the very beginning, his voice has been his great flaw, whenever he does angry scenes, its really trying on this faculty. So in a way, Mike He wins, but now Ethan Ruan wins hands down, he has a little of Joe's sense of humour and a wonderful voice (a bit like Ming-dao).

Okay. Before i get a 'where-are-you-heading-with-this' ...

An idol is someone you admire for their skills, personality, life, looks or whatever pushes your buttons. And if it's an actor or someone who is miles away, it is easier to distance yourself. But what if you find that you're most likely to idolise someone who lives next door or you just shook hands with.

i dunno but i think that's okay, too. As long as you know that putting someone on a pedestal is acceptable but as much as you admire that person for their talents, you should not be blind to their flaws. Say if someone said your favourite singer-songwriter was gay ... that's okay, value him for his talents. Even if your bestfriend is money-grubbing, promise-breaker or selfish witch, i think i'm okay because i'm fully aware of this. i have a choice to break off the relationship but if i choose to be friends with someone like that, when they hurt me, i won't make excuses for them except well, that's them and move on.

Someone i know who is a self-serving yet thinks he is selflessly helping other people, has been playing and pushing puppets around again lately. Because he thinks he is only doing such things to help his good kind friends, based on a deluded opinion that 'as long as my friends are happy, i am', he always gives excuses that his intention were all for good, so he will never take full responsibilty when it fails and people get hurt. Well, first of all, this is meant for all you good intentioned but black hearted irresponsible people - don't play with other peoples' lives, especially if they are people dearest to you. They don't deserve this kind of callouslessness. Plus, i'll bet you never told me is because you know it's wrong but you don't care ... it's a risk you must take. Fool! Come off that pedestal quietly, before someone breaks that statue.

As for my take on idolising,: it's okay, just don't be blind to the flaws that make them human.

I choose this song which literally means Person who gives Happiness, i know it is so ironic to use it since i've been harping over someone else being so stupid into thinking they can do so. Actually, i don't think it is wrong, just think that you should also know when you must tell the truth and not let people you care for live in a cloud of fake happiness. Being truthful may be painful, but in the long run, it is better for all parties. And true friends care enough to be truthful despite everything. BTW, i'm over being mad, just need to get it off my chest.

SONG FOR A MOOD
행복을 주는 사람/haengbogeul juneun saram - Fly To The Sky. From the album, Recollection, this is the first track which really gives you a headache because of the arrangement. But surprisingly, i didn't hate it. Gave this album to Ma-chan and i hope she grows to love it like i do. Feeling a bit deprived while i'm waiting for my copy to arrive, thank goodness for ripping and mp3s, it's one of those albums i can't live without!

i'm sad.

Even though i'm always putting up a brave front, i always feel sad when people leave - whether they are colleagues who change jobs; friends who move to another country or ... events that change relationships. i'm afraid to be left behind or to to be left full-stop, because i think one of my parents did. Then again maybe we pushed him away. However, after all this time, i guess i have gotten somewhat numb over all this leaving.

Perhaps it may be that the first 'left-behind' made me strong enough to face any fare-wells. One of my colleagues gave me a nice thank you card, as an afterthought. But deep within, i wish her well because she is one of the hardest working people i know, and kindest because she is always trying to make sure you are not hurt. i call her Fung Ching2, like the character in the Bund.

Today, though marks another departure. One of the nicest, kindest girls i've ever met. She really is sweet ... but ... dear Ma-chan, can be quite the innocent lambkin. i promised you i won't judge you. In fact, i don't think i have the right to. For my heart-felt advise was that you can at the very least retain the freedom to where you want your life to lead - one of your idea of freedom or your idea of captivity. And my final piece is forever retain your freedom to choose friends, whom your heart appreciates. Other than that, despite feeling unhappy over not having enough courage to fight for the opportunity to live as you like, ... i believe that when it is most important to you, the utmost crucial thing, you will know to stand up for yourself, no matter what, hell to pay. Because you are not alone. i am sad, too.

SONG FOR A MOOD
Freedom - Masaharu Fukuyama. For obvious reasons, even though Ma-chan doesn't fancy loud brash rock. This is my song to you, a song to lend you energy and strength when in need.

noticed that i started quite a number of posts - just putting in a main idea but never followed through to write a full length post. This blog takes up some of my brain time, yet i find it helps me find my way. More, coming up!

i have stories to tell. Please wait outside.

i'm a liiiitttttlllllleee obsessed with chinese-stuff.

Mando-pop, canto-pop, taiwanese drama, chinese mags, manga in Chinese (so that i can learn to read the language) ;-p, cookery books and almanack-reading and ... chinese books, books, books. it's not a large collection of odds and ends books. i have a huge vcd and dvd collection AND a humongous CD collection. But i love finding nice chinese picture books and find it extremely satisfying that whenever i finish a full-length books.

i'm not happy i'm more like a banana, yet i'm glad i'm aware of it and continue on my journey of finding my roots.

Meantime, i stumbled upon these two books that are chinese nursery rhymes (the picture book has the shorter versions, while the booklet has the full song). The plus point which i find so ingenuous and touched by the publisher's attention to detail, is a CD which introduces and explains about chinese traditional musical instruments, the sound it makes, how it is played and each nursery rhyme is performed in full. (comments were that the music is SO traditional, 'chinky' - simply lovely, i'm not a big fan yet i embrace it because this is as it should be). Oh, and the booklet accompanying the CD has the complete lyrics, pencil drawings of the instruments and music score, what else can i ask for?

Brilliant, ya. Wait, the crunch is this - hardcover, plus CD and booklet at only less than RM30, the real reason i love those chinese books. Definitelywill keep an eye on this publisher.

SONG FOR A MOOD
Rain/Fireflies - sorry can't translate very well and give credit, only that these are respectively track one and track fifteen in the Granny's Bridge (Wai-buo qiao) CD. The dialogue is between a grandfather and his grandchild whom he takes to listen to a rehearsal of a chinese orchestra.

i was angry awhile ago
i was sad and frustrated with where i am now
i was dejected and demoralised,
afraid to be the instigator of unwelcome change
saturday is a day of clashes,
i may not have the guts
i don't want all this
i didn't ask for it
yes, this is a self-pitying lament
no big deal
can i leave the building now?

that was then, i'm now at a loss for words and
emotions
(whine)

SONG FOR A MOOD
Door/Men - Rene Liu. Where things begin, where things come to an end. From one of my all-time favourite albums, the Door is a song about departures. Or rather, the departure of a man from a child's life, a wife's life. I always feel sad but also a tiny part of my heart feels hard and numb, cold even. That is me sometimes.

If you like to read books, you've probably been called a bookworm.
But have you ever considered this - you may well be a supporter of the arts!
Well, lately there has been such a large proliferation of self-published books. First of all, i have nothing against writers who self publish. There are so many talented people out there who deserve the attention of the reading world, who has important and interesting ideas to share or have so much imagination and skill you know they deserve a try at getting published.
Then there' s the sad, sad condition of the big publishing houses that may or may not have sunk into semi-vanity publishing. If a publisher doesn't have a regular publishing schedule, nor do they actually have a plan, concept for their imprints, can you still call them a publishing house? No editors (real good ones who know how to direct and edit), no copy editors, no proper trained desktop or layout design people ... are you even a printer??!!
If you are such a publisher, then its also obvious that you do not have the know-how nor the right to tell anyone they aren't good enough to write a book. Therefore, little wonder that all those writers out there think that they are good, as good as the books being published by the big boys. They are all thinking - who are you to say i'm bad? And you know, i believe so sometimes.
And so when people self-publish, they also end up distributing their own books to bookstores - directly destroying two automatic filters, the editor/publisher and distributor/sales person. And so the person who decides what makes it to the shelves of a store is most likely the buyer, arrrghhh ...
You think that's fun? You think that's empowering or whatnot?
Let me tell you that book buyers are used to meeting professional people who sell books and know what is a well-made book. When you meet those larger than life senior citizens or the enthusiastic but naive young writer - should you say, not good enough? Everyone deserves a chance (provided they also consider that content is the most crucial decisionmaker), i do believe that even if the author is not yet a master but a promising apprentice, they should be given a tiny space on the shelf. For only by writing more and improving more, can the writer one day win a Nobel.
Still, it's quite bad for the publishing industry if this continues. Controls will be off and readers will be exposed to badly edited books, thinking that this is the way it should be written. Buyers end up having to truly scrutinize the writing of a book, without the aid of an editor who would have help prune and fine tune the contents and advise of suitability etc. Apart from selecting the book based on other merits, the buyer will also need to worry about the reliability of the research and the evil thing called plagiarism. Of course, we still do right now. But its just becomes more prominent.
On the bright side though, if books are the literary arts, then the book buyer and the book worm will slowly transform into an Art patron. (The art patron is the powerful and rich people who appreciate and support artists. Their support come in many forms and they are usually art collectors as well). With this statement - replace artists with writers and art collectors with book hoarders) There, i think that may just be me. Et tu, Brute?

SONG FOR A MOOD
In Nostalgia/Huenying Jiu Mung - Guo-Zi/Chyi Chin Ok. Why is the link not on the title? There are two versions of this song, both which i love. Guo-zi shows off his ability to sing in so many genres and this nostalgic feel suits his voice. Rock star Chyi Chin has truly mellowed over the years, but he retains his clean, bluesy and modern approach to music. Cool. Suits my mood, two points of view.

No, it's not Autumn. The rains have arrived again, and the weather is somewhat similar to fall.

The past few weeks have seen certain changes to the environment at work, and all i can say is - more work but not necessarily mean exponentially more dough. Someone asked me, or rather tried to force my brain to think like they would. Well, honestly, i wouldn't say i'm resistant to change or whatnot but really, there are some things that need time, patience and a lot of luck. If it isn't yours, no matter how much effort you put in, it'll float away like those red falling leaves of autumn that naturally falls from the tree every year, as a greeting for the impending winter.

On the side, i've been hearing about some goings-on that disturb me so. And even if i do believe that serendipity may mean a little effort or push before the windfall, i don't believe in bull-dozing and so to my friend who is in a dilemma, i remember how that felt - i do understand how you feel. So like i said, when you think the pressure is too much, don't do it then. With these words, i look too at my reflection and say it again like a mantra.

The truth of the matter is everyone wants to win. No one wants to fail. But one can only beat a path to the door, with their own instruments and in their own way. I'd rather be my own cat and swish my tail and walk my own crooked way - be it successfully or not, i'm not you.

SONG FOR A MOOD
Leaves / Ye Zi - Chen Xiao-juen. This is the demo version since i couldn't buy the OST of the Rose. It's a poem, really. The tune too is poetic. Makes me feel all sentimental and sad whenever i listen to it, yet i love and enjoy the feeling. Imagine leaves floating down from a tree, you and i are leaves, too.

This is it. D-day. Bee's leaving and we've been trying to keep strong about it. Jay and i both think we should let Bee go happily to her new life across the ocean, to another land. And so ... 風繼續吹 ... may the wind continue to blow, softly and breezily in your part of the world. Thanks for the angst, tears, laughter, guidance and memories.

This song is for you, because you like it so much. May your new life be as sweet.

SONG FOR A MOOD
Silence is Golden/Cham Mak Si Gam - Leslie Cheung. The legendary Gorgor wrote this song with lyrics penned by Sam Hui. Beautiful tune, thoughtful lyrics and the melodic voice, these make this song truly lovely and classic. And now, silence - let's listen.

I remember reading something online about smap and the webpage was quickly removed later. The writer sarcastically compared them to spam.
If you ask me, I like Smap. Sometimes I even lurve them. They are one of the hardest working popsters in the biz. They sing, dance, host, cook, act, write and look very handsome all at once. Of course, i'm not saying that they do it well, BUT some of them do most of these things well. AND if you're a Smap fan, you probably are a Takuya Kimura fan, too. After all, when you learn more about them, you'll notice that Kimura-san (who is the most competitive of the lot, and kiasu) is really good at most of those things. The man sings, dances, cooks, acts and looks too damn handsome. And did i say he cooks!

Was telling Jay the other day about one of the 'punishments' which was making riceballs/onigiri for the entire crew of their concert - 200 people. And it was the year that Goro had a ban so poor Nakai had to make 400 onigiri for the crew the next day. He had to start immediately after the concert - poor Nakai-san. In the end, he called Tsuyoshi to help but ... someone went back to sleep, with a curt - Do it properly, ganbatte!. Hahahahahahaaaa
Still i guess it was quite a good stunt when Kimura, Tsuyoshi and Shingo showed up with more ingredients and they completed the 400 in time.

Then there was the time by Tama-sama (The Ball King, Kimura having won their periodic snooker game) gave the losers (Tsuyoshi and Shingo) the task of picking up garbage around the beaches of Japan for 27 and half hours. Hilarious!

okokokok, i'll stop waxing lyrical over these jokers. If you wanna see them at their best, google SMAPXSMAP (read as SmaSma) and you'll know what i mean.

Alternately, look out for some of their solo projects. i'm going to wait for 'Change', Kimura's latest drama which centres on a teacher who is pushed into an election. So apt, ya. Plus, i recently came across Shingo in one of his stellar performances in Galileo (which i'll touch on later)

SONG FOR A MOOD
Fly - SMAP. My very favourite Smap song. Kimura singing jazz. Now that is unusual. From their 13th album, this version is actually from the single which i bought in Hong Kong. It's one of the few Smap songs that aren't overly pop-py. Listen and you'll be surprised. I always need this song to remind me that Smap are a bunch of guys who work hard to get where they are now, and they deserve it.

It's been nearly a month since i've updated this blog. In between, i've been to Penang (1); watched Gary in concert (2); wrote loads of reviews (3); did a 'not-too-bad-compilation' of book capsules (4); read many books (5); watched some TV dramas (6); gotten into hot soup and out (7) ... and made a few decisions about my life (8) and lifestyle (9).

(1) went with Eri-chan. had fun.
(2) wow! Mr Cao-Ge is too cool. He won Best Male Vocal in 19th Golden Melody Awards, which is decided by industry peers
(3) yes, i'll be rolling in money soon ;-p
(4) errr, i like some of the stuff i wrote for August issue
(5) The Color of Magic - Terry Pratchett, Twilight - Stephenie Meyer (halfway), A Hatfull of Sky - Terry Pratchett, Good Omens - Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Penelope - Marilyn Kaye ... and i forgot what else
(6) worse, i think it was SP (with Junichi Okada), half way through Romantic Princess (Angela Zhang & Wu Zun), Galileo (the very cool Masaharu Fukuyama & Kou Shibasaki), Yukan Club (also halfway), It Started with A Kiss (ISWAK, the first part), Hana Zakari no Kimitachi e (Taiwanese version, also halfway and charmed by Ella's delightful performance), Forensic Heroes II (TVB one, with Kevin Cheng ...) AND i'm so taken by the movie Penelope (with the quirky Christina Ricci and James McAvoy and i forgot what else, too
(7) We will not talk about this :-(
(8) Don't go there either ... but there is one thing - i would like to fall deeply in love with paper again
(9) Went jogging

As you can see, i really have been busy. Most of all, i wanna remember that feeling in Gangnam without having to fly 6 long, uncomfortable hours on the fabled national carrier of ours.

We found it! A restaurant selling authentic Korean jajangmyun in the heart of KL!

Well, we nearly ended up eating at a regular ol' barbecue, but luckily we decided to ask if that shop was selling 'Korean Chinese' food. So like Japanese Chinese food restaurants in Japan, there are Korean ones selling noodles and dumplings. (the Japanese ones have more variety with Mabodofu and some other stuff)

And here's the proof:

Please bring me along, if this makes your mouth water.

Disappeared for more than a month. Too many things to ponder upon and simply afraid to voice it. Perhaps i've been too angry or upset to say stuff, afraid to reveal what i think. Today, this two weeks, i guess i've decided to take a light-hearted stance towards some of the shit that bothered me.

Apart from all that ... i've caught Pratchett Fever!!!!

It all began with a nice and coveted parcel of books as a belated birthday present, one of these being Terry Pratchett's Thief of Time. i've always avoided buying Terry Pratchett or even looking at his books because i thought, Man ... look at his body of work, the Discworld series is this entire two rows of a shelf at least! Quite scary, just thinking about it. In addition to that, i also tend to get huge headaches reading fantasy fiction. Because just imagining it, entire worlds, brings about migraines.

So i guess you could say i had my doubts. And the first few chapters of the book didn't help either. Cryptic and confusing. However, his satirical wit shone through too brightly. Therefore i read on, and got trapped. Then i went and bought Thud!, and The Wee Free Men. i decided to take a break from so much Pratchett and so very little money kinda forced my hand. But last week i bought the second Tiffany Aching book, A Hat Full of Sky. Itching to read it now ...

Hmmm, should i read today or leave it till next week when i go on holiday? Or buy another Pratchett and read this one now? Aiya, too little time, so many books. And believe me or not, i do intend to eat up all the Pratchetts. You think i haven't caught anything serious?

SONG FOR A MOOD
Hard Life / Meng Ngang - Justin Lo. There he was, belting out Leslie Cheung's song with Gary Chaw at Gary's Welcome to My World concert. I still prefer the original version of that song. And this one ... one of his nicest. It's romantic. But it also makes me think about my working life, quite tough, babe.

been trying to put up Seoul pix. cannot be done. either it's pixies or some bugs or ... i dunno. but go here la to view.

Even tho i'm one hand trying to stay cool, calm and happy.

i guess on another hand, this day this minute this second i feel dark.

'swallow it down, like a jagged little pill ...'

while Jay was worried about our whereabouts (the fact that we were, quite, quite lost), i was tagging along, enjoying the feeling of not knowing where we were headed and where we wanted to go, humming to the tunes of Alanis Morisette. And what i felt was a kind of joy - that Gangnam was a regular sort of place, where the working people were, where they went for lunch in groups and even though they may have a million troubles in the place called 'work', they went for a nice lunch all the same.

i've forgotten this feeling for a long time. i'm being forced to be responsible for a whole bunch of things and people, some of whom i wish would shrivel up and die sometimes. How i'd love to not work. Well, i've always wanted a job shelving books, day in and day out. 'Cos i love it. And i love the feeling that they look great to other people, too. But when i took this job, it didn't entail all the burdens, anguish and unwillingness that i feel sometimes.

But that walk in Gangnam, took me into this place. Where i saw the expressions i wish to have. Even if i'm not good enough, i'm happy enough. And i'm happy enough if i'm putting books in alphabetical order. Simple, uncomplicated. The rest, let it rest. i wish to keep that afternoon in my heart, in my mind. i think sometimes going places also means finding some of yourself in it.

And eventhough it was the Jagged Little Pill album - ironic and a whole bunch of other songs that helps me to remember that fateful day, i choose ...

SONG FOR A MOOD
Gaining Through Losing - Ken Hirai. The first album of Hirai's which i owned. For this song, which i liked in Chinese (F4, forsooth). But funnily enough, i started to like Ken, i have many other albums. And this album, this song is where it all began. Also reminds me that you gain some even if you lose some.

We went museum-hopping all over Seoul. One of Jay's comments: How come they do it so well? (She was very, very impressed with the huge War Memorial and the contents which include some real aircraft and heavy artillery) And the only thing that occurred to me was: They are really proud of it. And they should be.
Korea has a long & proud history and a deep & beautiful culture. But i didn't know all that until walking days in their various museums. Now i do, and not only that - the importance of curator-ship, interpretation (or is that classification) and 'xin-yi' suddenly became huge and evident.
And so the story goes ...
You may overlook the tiny magnifiers that are used to show the detail in the artifacts. You may say that every museum nowadays have all those interactive elements. (which they do) You may not as impressed by the goongs (palaces) and think the Brits also do the same with changing of guards ... and debunk all my other examples. I haven't been to many places, that is true. But never have i been so touched by such heartfelt consideration than in Seoul's many museums.
On a budget, all the entrance fees do not cost as much as a bowl of noodles (jja-jang men, forsooth). The toilets are all clean and well-stocked (seldom seen in this country). Drinking water is provided free, and on every floor (this is also free and refillable in all the restaurants we went to, also.) Seating was provided. (ok, all these were available in London, too) ... but i never really fully appreciated the British Museum, nor did i have an opportunity to linger at all the places i visited then, AND perhaps i was not ready to value a good museum.
However, i do know one thing. i did visit the Oriental collection at the British Museum because me ol'dad said it was worth it. i came back with a feeling that there were too many plunderers in England.
So, makes me think like this - there is one item, a National Treasure in the National Museum of Korea (go to Wikipedia page here) which may not have been displayed the way it is, if it was curated in a western country. There is an exhibit called the Pensive Buddha which many believe was a popular depiction of Maitreya Buddha. You need to go through a set of dark curtains, into an extremely dim room. The statue of the Pensive Buddha sits under the light, and before him are seats for visitors to share a quiet moment with him. That few minutes with the statue was serene, thoughtful and amazing.
And i came from that feeling that the curator's (or plural) xin-yi was deeply touching for they knew the worth of this statue, how to show its value and most importantly, they knew what they wanted the visitors to leave with.
With this, i believe i must always carry this memory with me as it reminds me that sometimes my job is that, too. When i choose a book, be it from a catalogue or to show it to the world, i should remember curatorship, interpretation and my xin-yi for only then can the customer coming into the store, on any day, feel my truest heartfelt hopes that they will love those books.
(There isn't one word to describe xin-yi. If i know later, i'll change it. But xin-yi really means heartfelt intent and truly that is difficult to do)

SONG FOR A MOOD
Stay - Dutch Training. Strange to choose this song. But i remember one of my favourite J-dramas called Monalisa's Smile, with Yusuke Eguichi starring in it. He played an auctioneer who was obsessed with the DaVinci's masterpiece. I loved this show for as much detail it could provide about the Arts and antiques etc. And this song was the main theme. I know it sounds like the reason is just too faraway, but it seems right to me.

i'm back on the ground.

Six days, five nights in Seoul and what do you get? this will probably take days to eke out, only due to the fact that i had a great and interesting experience, half the time wondering if there is any basis to the dreamlike feeling i had all the time.

Lizzie texted me and asked how it was? My answer: Korea is a country you need to experience because we are too much exposed to Chinese and Japanese stuff, we tend to overlook this other culture which may or may not blend into the He 和 (Japanese) or the Hua 華 (Chinese). Interlinked so many centuries, yet due to their isolation and occupation, it is only now that Korea has opened its doors.

It was nice. I loved it (to Jay who went with me, kumawo). And i leave with a bittersweet notion that i have but only skimmed the surface of what Korea is; and the knowledge that i will wish to go back again and again.

Nearly a week home and i've started to re-watch Goong, reminiscing over the places we went. So, i want to share the introduction tune to the drama, as it somehow represents my feelings ...

Ahn-yong (but this is not the end of my Korean sojourn)

SONG FOR A MOOD
Goong (Instrumental) - I find this song very happy, a hybrid of sorts because it sounds like a traditional folk song but isn't. It's a short song but this is a short post.

when you travel for work, then come home and work work work. Plus, if you're a bit off colour. It's hard to maintain a blog.

Anyway, Thailand this time round was better than the last. I have a few revelations, coming out from this trip. (Which i'm going to write about another time, perhaps after i file my report) Still, a little food for thought - each country in South East Asia, perhaps entire Asia are demographically unique - so how do you sell books, English ones here? Think about it. Who reads them???

Share with you a pix for the nice, nice, nice people in Bangkok. I think it's their culture - they are naturally nice folk. Us, we're another species altogether. (But i like being me!)

SONG FOR A MOOD
Tsumetaku Shinaide - Miwa Yoshida. Don't know what the title means, but i think this song is simply too cool. I bought the album (Beauty & Harmony Vol 1) in my first trip to Bangkok, long time ago. She released her second solo a few year back. In case you don't know, Miwa is the voice of DCT (Dreams Come True) Thought it will be a nice song to share, thinking about Thailand.

But? In Malaysia, where else.

M's 3rd album, Explore M has recently been released in various versions (Japan, Taiwan & Hong Kong). One wonders if it'll ever find its way here.

So sad. They need to take a course in Geography 101 - Asia isn't only limited to those three countries.

Just to say i've put up the pix from my 'so-called' honeymoon, in Hokkaido. Sometime in October 2006. It's very, very random and really depended on my moods. So i guess i missed many sights which i still keep in my memory.
Peep in here.

There was this discussion about how low risk it was to be in book trading. Which may just be the case if you compare us to those supermarkets that sell perishables. After all, there are laws about how long you can display such goods before writing them off or how close to the expiry date you can keep the stuff. Plus, the cost of importing them includes damaged goods which i'm sure happens easily - think plums, grapes or some soft fruit.

Not that we are actually comparing books to food - even though they are food for the brain, just as essential to some people. Take it as 'food for thought', though.

Do books expire?

Hardcovers become unsaleable after the paperback is release, yes. Old editions are obsolete as soon as a new edition is released, except research libraries that keep them, others will trash. Old theories get debunked and pushed off relevancy. Genres lose their appeal, and suddenly no one writes or publishes them anymore. New covers will show you how ugly the old ones were. And author dies and the books start to go out of print. Yes, yes and yes.

Various means will end the life of a book.

We always complain that some titles are out-of-date. Being 'trained', i'll look at books covers and cringe at the US covers of self help books which look like they were grandparents to the books freshly published. Well, they are still relevant though and just as well-received by readers.

Relevancy, universal appeal, rare art and deep substance will make classics out of books, making them live longer and travel farther. My job is at times to feed them a little Amrita, at times to help to bury them when they die, be it prematurely or naturally. Like any reader and loverof books, i feel glad with every long-lived, well-loved book ... and sad to have cross paths with nasty books, unhappy books, sickly ones ... and perhaps a little gratified to have met ones that are short-lived but burned brightly. It sounds odd, ya. At times, i feel it is as such.

SONG FOR A MOOD
Fast expiring strawberries/Kuai guoqi de cao-mei - Vivian Hsu. She is a popstar with a past who has managed to walk away from it quite successfully. Having spent a long time in Japan, her style and music reflects the soft, sexy, kittenish types like Chara and Bice. i liked her cos she's so pretty. Now i see her in a different light - if you didn't know this, Jay Chou's first single had words penned by Viv. Then i also followed her incarnations in DEP and Lil' Viv. Such a chameleon. i wish her the best for being incredibly 'long-lived' in this fickle world of entertainment. Song from one of my utter favourite albums, Qia ban de tien shi/Disguised as a Fairy.

i realised that i forgot to put this in. About the 'Go Green' thing.

Recently, Penny Tai has announced that she's not releasing any albums this year, or rather any CDs. Her latest pain-to-the-ears, called Blow the Whistle (Cui Bi-bi) will only be available online and you can pay to own your own copy. So i thought, why ah? Cost of producing an entire album, in CD is expensive? Maybe. Trying to be environmental-friendly? Because imagine you print 5,000 pieces and the terrible pirates print double, then there is 15,000 of your CDs, of which people like Lil' Eri will buy the pirate at say 10 a pop. She'll nicely stick it elsewhere and promptly forget about it. Thus creating unwanted, forgotten waste. Then, this makes digitally downloadable music much more green, ya? But where does all this data hang out at? What is the virtual world but metal, plastic and electricity ... servers somewhere. And more and more servers and other hardware to keep the software. Still, it is a little more eco-friendly, i guess to keep MP3s or music virtually.

But... on the question of books, though... an electronic book versus a paper one?

Music is different because cassettes and CDs will end up being waste that cannot be broken down easily. Poison to Mother Earth.

Books, which means less trees however does not necessary equal to poisoning of the same earth that will grow more trees. i'm making this sound so complicated.

Imagine this - electronic books made of plastic or metal components, and servers that house the digital books can end up in the garbage as unrecyclable, or needs special means to safely dispose. Which ultimately could mean it'll poison the land.

Then imagine this - books are made from trees which we are unendingly cutting down and may not be planting back as fast. When we trash books (for goodness sake, donate them or give them away before you do that!), they may be recycled as another book or paper something else. Now trees will be harder to grow on 'poisoned' land. But you might still be able to write on recycled books.

MP3s, not too evil.
E-Books ... not too great, you see.

I guess you can see that i much prefer the solidity of books, the feel of paper between my fingers, the woody, heady whiff of ink and forests. So help me ....

i've been passing this department store window everyday. And lately they've jumped on the bandwagon of going green, trying to get shoppers to use their own bags etc. Well! Now that's not wrong. In fact, it should be applauded. Unless you pass their shop windows everyday like me. With taglines like 'Go Green' and 'Say No to Plastic', it is just absolutely, utterly ironical that the window also contains mannequins draped in plastic bags, toting cloth totes AND all around are the store's signature plastic baggies. So, if you're trying to get shoppers to stop using plastic, why on Mother Earth (God Bless Her) would you use any as display, knowing full well you'd probably throw them away later.

Every morning as i walk pass the shop window in my half-awake state, i can only think with wry smirk - how ironic!!! Hahahahahha ...

SONG FOR A MOOD
Ironic- Alanis Morisette. None other than the most ironic song of the century. Friend Jon gave me the original Jagged Little Pill in cassette which i practically regretted at once that it wasn't in CD. This is from her anniversary acoustic album. Lover-ly.

Notice the last date i made a post. Now this definitely means i've been busy. Not just busy with work but also having a little R&R.

Watched quite a good movie, called Gegege no Kitaro. A funny, quirky live-action movie adapted from the classic manga by Shigeru Mizuki. It's about a one-eyed half-demon boy who fights to keep peace between yokai (demons and 'creatures of the night') and humans. Loved the CGI and the tongue-in-cheek characters, but i'm not sure if it's originally as such in the manga. (The lead is played by Eiji Wentz, one half of pop duo WaT - jpop fans will know that stands for 'Wentz and Teppei'. He looked quite cute, it didn't need any acting anyways.)

Currently, i'm thoroughly immersed in one of those TVB serials, forgot the 'English' title. It's a bit like CSI. i was fired up by colleague's comments that most of the Asian dramas (like Jdrama, Korean or Taiwanese, don't even go near the China ones) you don't really need to watch the entire thing. Just a bit in the front and then some at the end. However for TVB dramas, you must watch it in its entirety. Well, i don't really agree - yet.

Bookwise, i'm not managed to finish reading anything. Typical Arian trait!

Nevertheless, i've still left part of my heart and brain reserved for Colfer's Airman, which has turned to be quite extraodinary in the middle. Our cool guy, Conner is now planning an escape for the Saltees prison mines. Exciting! On the month assignments, i'm much taken with 'Ways to Live Forever' by Sally Nicholls. The novel was the winner of some competition. It is about a boy with leukimia and this is his project given by a tutor who wanted him to write more. Think what you may but it's suprisingly a not too sentimental book. Still touching but not off-putting, only sensible and matter-of-fact, you can imagine the parents crying in the background and putting up a brave front. Worth a look, if for that only.

Well, my life is now piecemeal here, a bit on the side there. i have not mentioned being inundated with work and having no idea where to start. BUT, that is obvious, of course. i think i need to work like i 'enjoy' - a little by little, a bit by bit.

SONG FOR A MOOD
Come closer/Kao-qin - Harlem Yu. My CD rack has a few prominent singers, Harlem is one of them. He's a singer/songwriter who has a unique sound and voice. Love him!!! This is from my all-time favourite album. The CD got scratched, so i felt very sad. Nowadays i play it less so that it'll last longer. He said in an interview how the death of a colleague made him feel the need to spend more time with loved ones, be closer with them while he could. And this is the acoustic version, with the guitar by a sifu, forgot his name but check it out.

i think i kinda shocked Jay the other day with my outburst about something. I guess i've never had a chance to discuss Mando-pop for a while now, because my hubby listens to other things in music. (being musically trained and all)

Hahahahahah! Sorry, dear. Hmmm, David Tao's not the only one who's foot ends up in his mouth.

i've been thinking to adding some stuff onto this blog. Maybe soon. Have to be disciplined and finish my real work first. Also, one

Na jung ae

(note: i found KDW's blog)

There's a urban cantonese phrase which uses references to airplanes to explain 'getting stood up', whether it's a date of sorts or an appointment.

'Fong fei-kei' - cantonese for 'flying planes', which is of course physically impossible but think 'paper planes' people. So we would usually say, 'i was 'fong fei-kei'' or something like that. Don't know where the actual reference ever came from, though. Perhaps to indicate that the other person took flight. It is also used in situations when there is a arrangement and the other person chickens out. But probably not used when describing 'left at the altar'. (So unromantic to use it)

It's been so popular that we even describe people who are known to cancel meetings/appointments as 'fei-kei wong' (King of Airplanes). Or Concorde, Boeing 747 etc depending on their 'power'.

And me. I'm always left on land while some people always take flight. Supposed to run out and do some New Year shopping today, but got 'fong fei-kei'ed. That's okay, i'll just stay home and do some laundry and wash the curtains. Sounds awfully dull, huh? It is. But the weather's just grey, cool and sleep inducing, maybe it's better to stay in bed.

SONG FOR A MOOD
Paper Planes/Zi fei-ji - Sandy Lam. She's one diva. Her songs, voice, style - has been inadvertently ingrained in many lives as we have grown up with her. This song written after her daughter's birth, i think. And even tho friends like Lizzie like her earlier works very much, i prefer this song. Sandy has embraced the modern, more popular singing style with it. When i first heard it on the radio, i thought sounds like Faye Wong but isn't, yet just as accomplished a singer. Suits my mood and this post, no?

Got in a bit of a writer's block. i think i'm probably too tired. in dire need of loads of shut-eye.

Curious about the title, huh??
The unenlightened don't know this but close friends who have known me for donkeys ages will tell you that - I love Bobby Chen. But i'm not going to get into that bit until maybe later.

So, of course anything with Bobby Chen interests me. He was on a talkshow, quite a few years back, and the host asked him about his composing. (this is before his unfortunate accident, which is also another long story due in later date)

She explained how superstar-maker/composer/singer Jonathan Lee (who was in an earlier interview), told her about his composer blues. He gave an example that when you are young, shit happens. As you get older, you tend spend more time on the throne, trying hard but failing to pass whatever there is. Sort of like a creative constipation. So i suppose he (Jonathan Lee) means he used to find composing easier when he was younger, now it's more difficult.

And Bobby Chen's response ... (he's notoriously famous for being difficult at interviews/shows, like Faye Wong) goes something like this ... he's not sure why Jonathan would use such a strange analogy but he has no problem with any constipation, it's all daily and regular bowel movements for him!!

As for lil' me, i always pop in a Bobby Chen cd to cure my creative constipation. And it works every time.

SONG FOR A MOOD
The Kite/Feng-jen - Bobby Chen. The first song that i truly, truly loved by this man. He uses the kite to explain the analogy of a man who likes to 'play' or stray, but keeps his string in someone else's hold whom he wants to come home to. I know it sounds so unromantic but Chinese is very lyrical, and this song is. It is also one of the songs which is more commercial. And very folk.

We got lost!

If last Sunday wasn't enough to prove to me that Ren & I am both horribly bad at getting on the right road, then tonight is enough. We took a wrong turning and nearly went all the way to the airport. Hmmmm, i am dying to go to Korea but not so soon le.

Anyway, i am really glad though that there are really nice people who helped us find our way out of the freakingly frightening plus confusing and practically deserted maze that is called Puchong.

We were near to going bonkers ... driving in the moonlight. Ren - thanks for being patient despite no dinner. :-)

SONG FOR A MOOD
In the Moonlight/Yue-kuang xia - Ming. A nice tune, okay lyrics and surprisingly good vocals, the only flaw is the amateurish arrangement which my hubby cringes at every time. But he loves this song. If you're addicted to local TV dramas, you might recognise it.

Que Sera Sera. That's the new drama that Eric was the lead in, recently. He plays a really nasty, playboy type which makes you want to slap him as much as Kang-Ho in Super Rookie, albeit for different reasons.

This only goes to show that Eric's forte is acting. Looks like a gorilla (in fact to many he's probably the hamsomest gorilla existing), but good acting.

The VCD is just out, go buy it. Lend me so that i can review it. (Moi? i await the dvd)

i realise that i've let my anger get the better of me. Which does not mean that i am no longer angry. But i withhold those feelings because it's not seemly. I keep the post because i think some parts were written well. But ...

i've just come to the conclusion that i no longer should take responsibility for decisions that homo superior make but pretend that they didn't, and expect the rest of the world to carry out. Why in the world should i cover the ass of someone who only knows how to calculate and push the buck to others by saying 'oh, i'm bad at the details'.

Well, i'm bad at details, too - so, go ask someone else.

Less stress, less unhappiness. That way i can still smile and do MY work happily, no matter how big the hole, it's my hole not someone else's.

To chase away anger, which is governed by my Arian side, i usually listen to rock or very loud music. Here's one to suit my mood.

SONG OF A MOOD
Circus Monkey/Ma-xi-duan hou-zi - Stanley Huang. Even if you do not know Hokkien or Mandarin, you should be able to hear the anger in this song. The English lyrics - don't give a shit about me, i'm not your circus monkey, i got to get myself out, i got to break free ... Words of an enlightened yet angry 'circus monkey'. Share my anger.

i couldn't sleep the whole night. i've been bad again, it seems. Showing a grumpy face to the world. Read this: how about a very tired person who has things they need to get done who cannot even comprehend what you are asking of them, and also has their mind on other more pending priority that you have thrown on them?

i realised that i have not smiled very often lately. But, what is there to smile and be happy about? Someone who wants and takes and takes and takes beyond your capacity to give, until you are at breaking point. It has happened before. It will happen again.

Sure you get paid for it - but to do the job of more than one person but on the salary of one. It's not even about the money. One person can only do the tasks of one person, we do not need to be a rocket scientist or a financial wizard to know that! Don't try dangling overseas trips and whatnot in people's faces, putting your desires as other people's when they only want to finish their work on hand. Sure, looking ahead is very important, but at this point i cannot judge the distance it will take me to reach the nearest destination.

How can i just say without even thinking (knowing behind my back, this person always undermines everybody's abilities because she is very capable), yes i will do it, yes our team will do it (when they are so stressed), yes as you wish?

Can i even expose my team's weaknesses to more erosion without even considering that i cannot cover for them?

'Give them time', she said. Which was what i am doing, then i realised that this person lives in hyperdrive - expecting the time to take to do things better will improve in a mere two weeks.

i don't expect that the world can evolve and change in such a short period of time. Because i spent an entire morning trying to prove and demonstrate that books can be displayed nicely and create more space. Because i remember that sales targets were increased in accordance to space. Because these targets won't be cut regardless of a subtraction of space. Because we can ill afford to lose that space. Because it is an unfair division of tasks. Because other other people need time to get use to their new tasks and responsibilities. Because i have new tasks and responsibilities, too.

And because we cannot take on everything by ourselves and not seem to the rest of world as authoritative, unpleasant, bossy, selfish and greedy. When in actual fact, i don't even want any part of it, i prefer the less stressful job of being nice to my books and the people who read them.

i'm grim, because prospects are bleak. Here i am hoping to fill up some part of my huge six feet deep hole, albeit doing it bit by bit AND not with myself lying in it. If other people can say no, why must i feel pushed to say yes, knowing full well, that yes means that i will somehow take the fall if we are not up to standard?

i'm not a human being. Bosses are not human beings, either. They are homo superior, i forget. So i should wake up everyday and slap myself to remember that i must be a smiling robot at work, one that is attuned to say yes, most pleasantly. If not, i will be grim, grumpy and stupid.

Remind me, please that: I am smiling, nice and stupid. (the stupid is so i can still remain smiling and clueless) I guess this is my resolution. That and my hubby says, think Korea.

The song i selected the other day is called Close to You (in English) but Tien-tien (天天) in Chinese which roughly translates to everyday or daily. Now the tune is very simple, straighforward ballad/love song that i would call one of David Tao's strengths. Sure, his R&B songs are cool, very easy-listening but a love song that somehow stays with you and never makes you feel tired of it, that's difficult.

The beauty of this song is the simplicity - tune, lyrics, arrangement (well, there is an acoustic one which i prefer), and the way it's sung - without the usual vocal acrobatics. The best part of all is Wa-wa (lyricist) always writes very easy to understand, so it is memorable, type of lyrics. Whether it was for his first album or for subsequent ones, you can always pick out a Wa-wa song.

(If you came late, Wa-wa (means Doll) herself was a singer during the folk & Mando-pop explosion of the 80s and 90s. Suddenly she disappeared from the scene, and the first i noticed her return was David Tao's Blue album. At that time, i thought she wrote the lyrics very simply because it suited David (whom i assumed was not so good in Mandarin, perhaps even now 'cos he's always reported to have out his foot in his mouth). But it could be this is her style.

I'll try and explain the story that the song tells:

Sunny days or rainy days
in a crowded coffee place
looking for a nook, where i can comfortably think of you

i see lovers side by side
then slowly look away
there is this girl, i'm missing

my heart has taken flight, to the other side of this city
i just want to see you
that beloved face

(this part is the chorus)
everyday, the roads are ever busy
everybody is waiting in line
without you, the days are black and white
so this is what love is like
i want you to be by my side
enjoying all that life brings
i would like to say, everyday
say to you, everyday (i know it saound weird but the words used is not 'tell')
how much that i love you ...

So everyday i've been listening to this song. And everyday, i marvel at its simplicity (that a simpleton like me can understand and remember the lyrics completely), and the voice of Mr David Tao - wow!

Na-jung ae

The answer is a definite NO!

I've just been busy. It'e the beginning of the year AND month. Imagine all the reshelving and realignment of strategies, plus reports and write-ups i have to finish. Also, i've been watching videos and writing tiny blurbs which pay peanuts, but i'm not complaining ...

Recently watched Sweet Relationship Pt.1. It's a remake of manga, Oiishi Kankei which was made into a Jdrama around 10 years back. (starring the wonderful Toshiaki Karasawa and a little bit insipid but pretty Miho Nakayama)

It's about this girl who loves to eat and has been trained to truly appreciate food, but has also created a monster who is very fussy about eating. Her father dies leaving her penniless so she has to look for a job, unfortunately she is totally hopeless and klutzy. One day, having failed in another interview, she leaves the building to be greeted by a heavy downpour. She stops a taxi but get pushed on the road and loses the cab to some very disgustingly rude but well-dressed people. (her words ... hahaha) So unhappy, ya? She stumbles unto a quaint restaurant called Little Bear, and starts to stuff her face. At the end, she asks for the chef's recommendation which turns out to be a clear beef consomme. Touched by it's flavour, and the fact that it tastes like a consomme her father made for her, she starts to cry. And decides she wants to work there. Except then the chef starts scolding and says he won't have a woman in his kitchen.

The new version is the made in Taiwan one which stars Vic Zhou (Zai2), Patty Hou (most known as being Jay Chou's ex), Alan Kuo (who appears to have gained weight) and other people. It's cool. Very modern and beautifully shot, i hope the story doesn't die half way. 'Cos the main problem of Taiwan drama is either they become too melodramatic, too meandering or too slapdash. Only a few directors have managed to sustain a good lengthy drama - i dun remember their names but the good shows are like Meteor Garden 1, Yamada Taro Monogatari, Devil Beside You, Come to my Place, Toast boy's Kiss, It started with a Kiss, The Rose. Well, there are some more but they lack a certain sustainability about them. Either leads are crap or story too thin. Why-why love - the latest one on TV was quite ok except Mike He wasn't that great an actor. It didn't show with Devil Beside You, being his first drama and all - but his acting in Why2 love looked like an extension of character A-Meng.

So about Sweet Relationship .. here are a few tidbits. Heard this on the radio when both Vic and Alan were here doing interviews. Both of them went through training to learn to cook for real just so they could perform better. Alan, ever the diplomat, said that Vic was the better cook. And he himself enjoyed eating the food in the drama, which was freshly cooked for each scene.

Vic who recently acted in a film, explained to the radio dj about the difference of acting film and drama. He says that it is much more difficult to sustain a character in the long run, and make miniscule changes to it, perhaps changing only very little in each episode. While in film, being shorter, the character may have changed a lot in the next scene. The way he spoke made me see this pretty face in a new light. He is a thinking actor, not the types who have mush for brains and nothing to say at all. He has matured from the days of Hanazawa Rui and deserves some credit for his acting inspite of his wild popularity.

Then again, this director - i look forward to his next drama with great anticipation.

SONG FOR A MOOD
Close to You/Tien tien - David Tao. If there is one song, i must choose of David's, it is this song. Simple tune, simple lyrics, they evoke a simple feeling of love, loving someone and being loved. (there is a song called simple love also) Anyway, i love this song and listening to it cheers me up, puts me in a good mood. Plus, i've been wanting to listen to it again lately. I hope everybody falls in love with this song, too. Please do. It is these songs which make me think that Wang Lee-hom is over-rated. (Sorry)

If this sounds like an about-turn from my previous post about people preferring non-fiction to fiction, it isn't.

But like i said, i lurve non-fiction, too.

So what is this all about then? Been reading the Hornbook (Jan/Feb), where the wonderful people over there has made an entire issue on the winners of the Boston Hornbook book prizes. This Canadian guy (Nicholas Debon) won for Best Non-fiction Book, The Strongest Man in the World: Louis Cyr. Published by Groundwood Books, this book has practically no 'interest' value in this part of the world, plus Canadian published books are very difficult to find. (i think the main problem is they only hold local rights, and very stupidly sell world rights, UK & US rights to other publishers. Though some like Groundwood retain US rights, which is why and how i managed to stock this book in the first place. Anyway, some award winning authors books seldom see the light of day outside of Canada because some bigshot publisher (UK or US) may not have planned to publish them).

My point is ... non-fiction books that cover the whole earth, factual please are easily obtained and even easier to pan them off. Non-fiction picture books are well, another species altogether. If picture books about rabbits who ask about how much they are loved are hard to sell, then non-fiction picture books are like selling fridges to Eskimos. But. I like them. i think they fill a niche for the in-betweeners. For kids who like to learn some facts, are too young to appreciate the really heavy stuff, or older children who appreciate the beauty of a good and well presented picture book that isn't at all about made-up things.

'The Strongest Man' is definitely one hard-to-sell. But have you read any Steve Jenkins? I find his books fascinating. There is one that is called Actual Size, where he draws the animals to their actual size. Quite cool.

And if you see them popping up on bookstore shelves, it's because they are worthy of notice. Look them up someday.

Someone told me they've been following my blog.

Argghh! That is so hair-raising!

Then someone else asked me what's in my blog... I didn't know how to answer. Nothing, i suppose. Everything, i think. Depends on how you see it.

I've always found writing to be a very good outlet for me. That's why i've so many notebooks lying around, half filled. But i've never been able to write well, write true and write brave. Because to be a writer, a real one - you need honestly write down everything. Even the imagined scary parts that you may get nightmares of. Or the embarassing lovey dovey moments. Maybe a little erotica. You cannot write well until you are able to write out all the nitty gritty details you would rather flush down the toilet.

AND ...

You have to put up a brave face and say, yes i wrote that. Swallow all the criticism and move on to the next success story or failure. Writers, especially the ones with published works, i'm sure have moments in their career when they would rather throw into a bonfire. That's what i'm afraid of, too. What if it comes back to haunt me? Or like this girl i know, get her fired from her job?

What is the actual price we pay, when we want to express ourselves AND expose them to the world?

Okay, okay. i would not mind too much, perhaps one day, i might get there.

To have an opinion. To say it out loud. And to say it with my head held high. (I need to work on it, definitely.) Sometimes i think i'm ashamed of myself.

SONG FOR A MOOD
Little Fairy - Rene Liu. I just realised that it's been 12 years since this song first saw the light of day. This album, Outwandering is one of my all time favourites. Each song touches me and tends to warm and mellow me up. (whatever that means) Little Fairy seems to suit this cold, wet season. It begins with ... Imagine rainfall in winter ... Rene Liu took a more commercial turn after this album, so if it sounds terribly unfamiliar, unpolished and endearingly folk, it's now her past. I miss that Rene. Enjoy it while you can.

I've been sick for a week or so, therefore what's written here is probably nearly 2 weeks old.

Unpacking my boxes the other day, revealed a long forgotten (okay just 18 months or so) bag of soft toys. We went to buy a plastic box to fit them in. So here they are in all their glory, looking like lords on my sofa. The B-Daman blue guy, i call Hideaki Ito, because really, he looks like that. (Hahaha)



Then i stuffed most of them into the blue box with wheelies. I kept some out - like my big dolphin. i'm part fishy, must not forget the significance. Share a funny song with you. You can take it that the toys came to visit OR like the song says, the toys went on strike. Don't they look accusing???



SONG FOR A MOOD
Toys that went on Strike - Shunza. A disco style song, though i'd rather choose other songs from this first album, Come Home. (eg Come Home is an amazing song.) But thought this was too good of a match for the photos to skip, the lyrics are fun. The toys in the background go, Strike, Strike we wanna go on strike. I think perhaps it is a subtle protest against violence.

There's this funny sort of book called the Facttracker by Jason Carter Eaton, illustrations by Pascale Constantin, due out end of this month from Harper US. It's about this town where their commodity is facts. Then something happens and the people's true stories are replaced by tall tales! Now, sounds sort of interesting, huh? I thought the premise was quite cool, probably for the kids who liked Captain Underpants but grew out of theirs, so need something a little less yucky but just as hilarious. But the main reason for bringing this up is it put me in the mind of something totally different which i've been thinking of these two weeks.

The other day (sometime back, probably three Mondays back), i was going home from work and on the way down the escalator, i overheard one gentleman state and with some pride, that he never reads fiction. 'Oh, I only read non-fiction. If I want fiction, I can make up my own'. The man was standing in front of me. So i may be wrong, but did he sound disgustingly pompous. I wonder how the lady could still nod and agree with him.

Jay (who is our Humanities si-fu) doesn't read fiction either. She says it's because she cannot stop thinking that it is all not true. But we've been trying to convert her, one book by one book, though she may still think they are untrue (everyone knows they are not true, d-uh!), i was quite surprised the other day when she said she enjoyed The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Luis Zafon. Well, well, well ... not bad. Seeing some light, lately.

But back to those who rub their heels with fiction.

i mean, it's like fiction is worthless and for the dummies or people with no imagination. For your information (eh-hem), great fiction require a lot of skill, imagination and legwork (read research) to write. And the true beauty of fiction allows it to be as fantastical as it is believable and unbelievable at the same time. Take fantasy as an example, the setting may be out of this world, yet firmly we are able to accept it. It is all due to the writer's description that makes it seem real to the reader. Or those reality-based novels, where the exciting happen in an everyday setting, how skilled the pen of the author, to make the mundane majestic.

Fiction rings more true at times for people become less afraid to state what is true in a fantastic situation.

And non-fiction. Don't get me wrong - I love to read non-fiction, too. History is cool. Being Arian, i am only second to Librans (my mother), in absorbing information. And i will be the first to raise both hands to say that it also requires great skill to write non-fiction. If not, it's be dry and boring and so for those stuffy academicians. And it also has to be factually correct, to some point or other.

And sure, everyone is allowed to diss fiction for being not true, a waste of time (reading non-fiction is like studying) and probably not even worth buying.

Then here's my question to you. How do you know non-fiction is all facts? That everything you read is true? That there is not one piece of stated fact which isn't as it seem? Two different field experts with the same information may interpret them into opposing solutions, could they not? Then do you believe one and call the other fiction?

Yes, yes. You will also say, it is all a matter of opinion and deduction based on the true facts. But if you like to read about History, you will realise that some biographies take some creative license into making the story come to life. The only badge that gives them authenticity is a bibliography the size of a chapter. Fiction will probably have an accompanying note from the author, one para long - not even worth mentioning.

And where does this lead us?

Non-fiction is where facts are written creatively to tell a true story. Fiction is where stories are creatively wrought to sound true. Both require good writing (eh-hem again, storytelling) skills, some imagination or ideas and sound research. They both have their strengths and exist to fill the need to feed different sides of our brain. The logical side of the brain for non-fiction and the creative part loves fiction. Kids like Jay don't read fiction, but still enjoy music, film and other arts so they are fulfilling their creative hunger.

Fiction and Non-fiction fans are always at loggerheads but really, these two complement each other. i, for one, love both. And those non-believers of fiction or non-fiction, remember that they are NOT opposite poles, they belong to different parts - Left and Right.

And parents, puh-lease know this. Kids need some of both to feed and nurture a proper Brain. So STOP and think before you end up buying them dictionaries and atlases only. Stories are important, too - fake but still crucial. (and yes, i'm done for now)