i'm about to go to bed but this is such an important day to miss posting a comment, ya. The end of the year, and the only time i've actually managed to consistently maintain a blog. Which makes me wonder how long this will continue...

But i'm quite into it, right now. So no fear, yet.

Anyway, it was kinda sad as today's the last day i'm in the uniform. And as for the locker i've used for five years, good-bye. Come Wednesday, and i'm like a plain clothes policeman. (incognito). There are good, good points to wearing a uniform.

One - People know you work there.
Two - They don't recognise you, only the clothes.
Three - You don't need to buy loads of clothes.
Four - Everyday at work you wear the same things, like everybody else.

Then there are bad, bad points. Which unfortunately, they are the same as above!

Em (i'm gonna call Ma-chan that from now on, cos i think it's cooler. Like M or short for Emily, Emilie, Amelia ... and the one we don't mention so that she remains anonymous, as much as possible). Anyway, Em said she wanted to cry when she learnt that she had to wear a uniform, imagine all the cute clothes she couldn't wear.

Now what is wrong with Jay and yours truly? Holding on to the blue 'cleaner's clothes?
Uniforms are equalizers, they really are.

Well, this was meant to be short, will keep it that way. Going to bed, folks.
Sayonara, Ni-sen-nana Nen (2007), sayonara.

SONG FOR A MOOD
Sayonara 2001 - Mr Children. This accompanies the delightful Kimi Ga Suki single as the B side. And even though, i truly love the first song. I simply adore this one. It's sad yet hopeful. I don't understand the lyrics at all, but i like to think that he's begging for more time, for there is more to do. Mr Children's sound has been sunny most of the time, but this and a few others have dark tones. I love those very much and prefer them than the more popular hits. Honestly, i think, no words can describe the mixture of feelings this song gives me.

i wanted to choose a song to cheer Ma-chan up, 'cos she's very sick. But something else happened to put me in the doldrums.

Seems that there's a pipe leaking in the apartment so some of my storage got wet. I spent nearly four hours looking through training material, personal letters, unwanted but important bills and documents. i came to one conclusion. i have too many notebooks; all half used. And their contents were sometimes quite 'unfit' for the eyes of others. There were also some which i must have written in a creative daze 'cos i don't remember being that articulate and expressive. In fact, at times i don't even remember i knew half the words used.

Perhaps i can plead temporary insanity or amnesia because there are some i don't even remember ever writing. (some were comic reviews dating 10 years back or more)

So there they were - my whole life in notes, hidden in a box. Today, and in the near future, here it is my life in a 'blox'.

SONG FOR A MOOD
Boxes - Wan Fang. There are many reasons for loving this song. Tune by Gou-mao, touching words, guitar by Rashid, sung by one of the saddest voices in Taiwan. The song fits with the concept of the actual album, it illustrates the protagonist packing and leaving but i always think it also means us, living from out of a box, our whole lives repeatedly doing the same stuff - packing, moving, unpacking - be it physical property or emotional baggage. From her album, Fly Away, my first of many by her.

It has been raining a lot lately. Of course, elsewhere it's snowing already, but the only thing happening here is just a whole lot of water out of control. In colder countries, it's sort of gray and endless drop-drop-drop, i suppose. But only in this part of the world, we get sudden huge downpours (so i've heard).


A recap on yesterday: my cake (Kocha cake) turned out ok. This is the second time I've attempted, using the wonderful Kenyan tea that i'm currently in love with. Hajiman (but) my cookies were burnt! So sad. Here's the pix to proof that i blew it.





Back to the wet day we've had.


On days like this, there's nothing more relaxing than a nice mug of hot tea (or whatever), in nice comfy and warm clothes, watching the world go by. It puts you in a mellow sort of mood. My songs of choice in this case, would probably be something sentimental. In this case, i chose a song from a new cd, an Xmas prezzie. ;-)


SONG FOR A MOOD
The Circle Game - Joni Mitchell. First of all, i seldom listen to English songs. But sometimes i do. This particular song reminds me of my Mum and Big Sky. They used to sing it, too. Secondly, i think in my previous life, i was a guitar toting hippie' cos i absolutely adore folk. And so, from Hits album, to put you in a nice, mellow, yellow mood.

'Phing-an Ye'

A literal translation into English would be Peaceful Night, which is to the rest of the crude English speaking people, Christmas Eve. Ever since i learned this word, i've always preferred this description to the English one. For even though, i'm no Christian, i do exchanges presents with friends who are, plus my aunt Teresa is a Catholic so we used to enjoy the school holidays in Penang with loads of Xmas festivities.

This year's Christmas doesn't feel funky and festive. But it does feel peaceful. Which is how it should be. During the World War, there would be a ceasefire. So that calm and serenity prevailed.

SONG FOR A MOOD
Snowman - Mavis Fan. You would have guessed that i probably wouldn't have any Xmas carols or anything happy like that. But a wonderful voice like Mavis' can create a magical atmosphere. Happy Christmas, guys.

i love wrapping presents.

i cannot remember when i started to enjoy it, but i've always found wrapping a gift an extremely satisfying pastime. Most of my long-time friends always insist on getting wrapped gifts from me because it seems, it's really part of the fun of getting any ol' prezzie from me.

For sure, i'm not a very creative gift-giver. But i think i like giving people things more than receiving them. Could be because i usually don't know how to react when getting one? Or maybe the feeling of giving beats anything else? Being able to provide for your loved ones and once in a while, out of the blue (or not), shower a little bit of attention on them, perhaps through a small present plus a nicely thought-of decoration.

Three hours of gift-wrapping sure puts me in the right mood. (that and more than three hours of shopping and hanging-out with a jolly pal.)

SONG FOR A MOOD
When we are together - Peng Ching Hui. Such a pretty, jazzy song that gets my feet tappity-tap everytime. Makes you want to swirl around the room. (from her album 'All I Want' which comes in two discs, one Mandarin and one English, same tunes)

A few days and it'll be Christmas. There's this book by Charles Dickens where the miserly Ebenezer Scrooge (an immortal name) is visited by the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future.

This past few days, somehow feels like i've been visited by my Ghost of Past. To nonchalantly say, Hi! is a tough, tough thing to do. i think i would rather face an angry crowd of Harry Potter fans on embargo day than visit a deep grey pool, hidden inside my Norwegian wood. (For i turned a corner and nearly fell into it.) My advise to anyone is it is good to have closure (of any kind) or you'll always feel awkward or even cowardly when you meet that someone again.

On the other hand, i've been complaining about missing sleep, as usual. Apart from updating this blog right into midnight, i've been busy reading. Corydon has taken a strange shade, somewhat like an allegory of war now. i hope with all my heart, it doesn't fall flat.

So a song that suits both my sentimental, nostalgic mood (if you understand the lyrics), and a lullaby to boot. There was a time when this album sat in my cassette player for nearly half a year, i'd play it at night without fail, keeping me company in dreamland. It opened an entire world of music for me.

SONG FOR A MOOD
Remember the Time - Johnny Chen. It may sound obscure, but Johnny Chen made me start to see R&B in a different light, and learn to study the credits of composer, lyricist, arrangement & producer, creating a new realm of possibilities to my music appreciation. This song is from his second album, Because of Love. Sleep well.

Had this interesting chat (IM-ed) with Daph the other day about reading. It all started out with a discussion about Xmas gifts and escalated to that. Anyway, she was saying that she was okay with Son No.1 liking to read Mr Midnight but perhaps only barely. After all we all had our favourite rubbish reading. I lurve Mills & Boon in stacks as a respite to the heavy stuff i sometimes have to read.

But the comment that really got me thinking was something she said about it being ok if you read crap as long as you know the difference between good and bad OR rather, can tell what you like and appreciate in a book. So you can knowingly read crap and would never class them in the same level as a (for want of a better example) Pullman.

And what do i appreciate in a book?

I think the prize should go to the writer, any ol' writer who knows how to write a blossom. Meaning it gets better and better as you read.

Partly because i've been rereading The Merlin Conspiracy. For some books which i totally love, i would just randomly select a spot to start reading from. So the other day i started in the middle, then read to the end. And left it in the bathroom. After a couple of days, i went back to it and started from the very beginning. As i read, i marvelled at the way Diana Wynne Jones held all the cards, maybe smiling a secret smile as her plot thickened.

The same for The Franchise Affair.

The same for this sad book called the Corydon and the Island of Monsters (Tobias Druitt). Daph says it's written by a mother and son team, which makes me feel cheated. Since i really like mythology (hence Neil Gaiman is one Si-Fu), from the beginning, the story was cool. As it progressed, up to two hours ago, i was kinda surprised! I thought it was going to be serious a bit type of fiction, a tinge of historical, like McCaughrean or something. Imagine my shock and amusement, when it takes an about turn and becomes somewhat satirical. Aiya, i know it's been done before, but i've never read anything like this yet so if you want me to be enlightened, tell which books to read.

My point is this.

Love some books because they capture your attention at the beginning with the right amount of information etc. Then as you go on, either the plot or characters or maybe even the style, gets better, bigger and BAM! ... you know everything at the end. A book that grows, unfurls and blossoms, basically.

The Corydon book, not at the end yet but brownie points for sustaining interest and creating a new dimension with the humourous parts. BUT, one hopes with fingers crossed that it does not turn silly.

Another thing i appreciate in a book - intelligence and the concrete, unshakeable belief of the author in the intelligence of the reader. So help me blah blah blah.

SONG FOR A MOOD
OK - A-yue, from his album of the same name. Honestly, this is definitely my 2007 Chinese album of the year. It takes the words from my mouth, that i'm ok, hanging on. So there.

One of my favourite blogs, Dramabeans always feature a Korean song, sometimes one on a soundtrack. Even though, i'm not always interested in the songs or even listen to them, i like the idea of sharing some music, though not entire albums. One of the latest songs featured was Tei's Queen, the 'theme' of Uhm Tae-woong in Chunhyang, which i liked for its jazzy feel.

But i digress.

Made me want to share some music, too. i've going to try and share songs to fit my moods or current humour.

Feeling down lately. And in the need for a song everytime to cheer me up. This is a great one. (you would have read it in an earlier post)

SONG FOR A MOOD
Three Musketeers/Samchongsa - Kim Dong Wan featuring MC Mong & Ho Inchang, from Kim Dong Wan's first solo album

Fans of Phillip Pullman and that superb trilogy, His Dark Materials, please take note:
Once Upon A Time in The North is slated for April 2008 release. Supposedly about Lee Scoresby and his first encounter with Iorek Byrnison; and designed to match Lyra’s Oxford.

But true fans say – what of The Book of Dust? Or our young lovers Lyra and Will? Do something already Mr Pullman!

Still, if you’re desperate for a new story from HDM …

Folks who love the selfish and vain wizard called Howl will be happy to know that there's a sequel coming out!

The 30th November Bookseller reports that HarperCollins has acquired Diana Wynne Jones' latest book, to be out in June 2008.

Writing B-movie reviews. i can't even bring myself to watch them, that's why. Still at least i might get paid for them. Not like the writing i try to do well about books - it's just nitpick, nitpick and nitpick.

Not good enough.

Grammatically incorrect. (are we talking about ourself???)

Like those other bookstores, lack enough of class.

Please read between the lines, if you already get my drift.

Used to get this kind of error message very often, a long time ago. now - one gets other stuff which are more descriptive but just as crytic.

i wrote about something that happened in the workplace, but after much thinking, i'll hold onto it until it's all over and forgotten. The powers that be maybe offended even though in actual fact, i was the one most hurt by it.

Can't get on Youtube tonight. It explains my inconsolable grey mood. Jay and i have been finding much joy in going online and watching the crazed and funny antics that loads of Shinhwa Changjo upload on Youtube.

They really cheer you up, these guys.

The Hongkong five-man group, The Wynners are here to promote their concert set to greet the New Year. They've been singing on and off for 33 years, it seems. Alan Tham, Kenny Bee, Chan Yau, Phang Kin Sang and the other guy - forgot his name, sorry.

Will Shinhwa come together like them to sing after 33 years? (Maybe not songs like Wild Eyes or Hey Come On, but there are other nice songs.)

The Backstreet Boys are singing in Hawaii this month. Shinhwa is effectively Asia's Backstreet Boys. I think, the guys who are soloing are even more talented than the Americans. Or maybe 'cos i'm only more familiar with Asian pop for i nearly never buy Western music when there so much talent in Asia.

Anyway, to the 6 ajusshi - Eric-sshi, Minwoo-sshi, Dongwan-sshi, Hyesung-sshi, Junjin-sshi and Andy-sshi, thanks for the laughter.

note: i went and filled sky's player with all their music plus Fly to the Sky's. Imagine her surprise - no more TVXQ! (evil smile)

life, disarray
heart dislocated
self, disappointed
spirit discouraged
soul, desolate

i've been very sad, lately. which is strange because i guess the reason must be the fact that i've been passed up for a promotion. Yet, i was praying that it wouldn't happen 'cos i knew deep in that i'm just not cut up to do this work required at the higher level. In fact, it's really not like that song, Cry Sour Grape (L'a Cryma Christi). For the past two months, i'd be standing at the briefing session or at meetings, and then feel like my blood running cold as i tried (operative word) to imagine (another operative word) myself at the front.

i'm not so-called managerial material, too friendly and close with staff; and quite fun-loving and out-spoken. (sigh) i haven't really progressed from where i was when i first joined this place. Well, not in this aspect. i've become more open to people and gained some confidence with meeting different walks of life. i remember looking aghast at my friend who accosted the person next to her to ask about the book that person was reading, and then practically ask about her life history. That confidence, brashness - i so admire. (Plus, i've learned so much of different types of books which is totally my knowledge alone and cannot be given to anybody.)

i'll come out and say it's so true i'm not cut out for this kind of glory. And they made the right decision. so, i guess i'm sorta sad because i feel cheated of a chance to actually look higher and make more bucks. (not that it's much more) But i think it stems from the fact that i've alway felt people don't really appreciate for what i do. Of course, book buyer for lifestyle and children - forgodsakes - any idiot can do that! If you say it needs creativity, insight and vision to make a different and unique section which sits tightly between trends and actual living, you can almost see the laughter behind the eyes of your listener. (if they are paying attention, that is)

i remember an ex-colleague making a comment that goes something like this: 'You're lucky 'cos people would just buying any ol' thing at the Children section. ' (which in plain terms mean it's so easy to buy for that section)

Then this other comment i heard reported to me, made by one of the higher level staff which went like,'Why don't you buy for children (books sic.)? You're a mother, you should know even better.'(note: both are mothers) That was the most deja vu moment i ever had, i nearly threw up!!! The place which i used to work, this lady boss who was, forsooth, a qualified librarian sent a few of the older ladies who had never bought books before to bookstores to buy because she said - the mothers should know better. Now, i've nothing against mothers, my own beloved set me on the path of reading, but for a qualified, professional to say that - it was like she was dumping down her entire profession. So i suppose higher level staff are also allowed their deriding opinions. (She might even offer to buy the children's books, too. How fun.)

Let it be known that a lot of men have written for children, even single, unmarried people regardless of gender AND gay people whom it would be impossible to be a 'biological' parent.

still, i too hold the opinion that any dumbhead (read ME) can order children's books as long as your heart is in the right place, your head firmly in the clouds and your feet tapping to music on the ground. The children's buyer like all buyers should love books and add to that - never forget the joy it brings to the little people, whatever else is plainly secondary.

i told m-chan i was afraid i would quit. But why would i?

i'm telling the world now, i'm afraid i might be bereft without books in my life. i think i'm too obviously transparent in this aspect, so nobody takes bets on the odds that i would even consider leaving. i'm sorta purple and bitter about it. No dignity, no respect, no integrity - they can be non-existent as long as you are well compensated, that's the opinion i held when i left the former workplace. You can be as ungrateful as you can be as long as the poor wretches are being paid for their services. And they did - wonderful staff benefits, and even had a nice gratuity when i left.

i wonder if the year-end bonus will cover all my anguish for the whole year. At the very least, let me hold my head up high for all the effort i put in 24-7-365. (i so want to go to Korea with Jay).
dangyunhaji /(>#<)\