Have you ever been in a situation where you were speechless or could not find the right words to reply, but it hits you sometime later, or at 3 pm in the morning? I like to call it the Delayed Response (DR) syndrome.

I had one of those yesterday. Those who know me would know that we've been having a crucial exercise at work this week, and yesterday was the fallout meeting. Now, everyone is usually exhausted but will keep their eyes open for this meeting. Well, I wouldn't mince words to say that I totally abhor the time we waste talking about this and that, some are even so minute you want to throw up! Suffice to say, I was prepared to be bored to tears or worse, fall asleep at the table.

To recap a little, this year was a wee headachy as we were assigned less people and what not. Everyone thinks it's the company's tight-fisted policy which led to this. But it's also probably some advisor's delusion that our staff are much better than the last-minute part-timers. I don't know about that though. I guess it's pure luck, good or bad - you get good apples, bad apples and sometimes no apples. Still, most went smoothly, so it really was supposed to be a meeting where you discuss the weaknesses and be constructive about it. And hopefully, the people who are in charge will remember to rectify it the next year.

Anyways, things got a bit hot when someone decided to be super-critical. Of course, I was trying to mind my own business.

After the meeting, on the way back home, I had an outburst of sorts in the car. The poor girls who had to listen to that! And much later, I realised that I should have just had the outburst in the meeting, throw a tantrum and leave the room - perhaps they will think twice when they conscript me again! Damn, lost opportunity.

How many times did I want to say do it yourself but bit my tongue? If you want to be so critical, really ... DIY! Hah, and since it's perfectly fine for the newbies to run the show, why do you keep conscripting the very exhausted bunch of seniors who have prayed to be let of the hook? I mean, the advisory team gets free food (of sorts) and the thumbs up from the boss, the parttimers get more money, the rest probably gets OT and a cheap bottle of RO water - and us in the middle, all we get is you should have done this and that and well, someone did it better - ungratefulness to the highest degree, thank you very much! Oh, I forgot - we get an extra 7 bucks.

So, so, so ... although I wish I said all this, and may have gambled that if I walked out, I'd be blacklisted - could I have gotten a serious offense warning if I did? Because I so wanted to say it. But did not because I didn't think of it then, damn prudence!

Still. Sigh. Can we pass next year? Please pretty please?

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