As i start, it's five minutes to 12, on Christmas Eve (Malaysian time), and 5 months and 24 days since i last posted anything. I have forgotten how long since i've been on facebook.
I have not fallen off the face of the earth, although some months, weeks, days ago - i felt like it in spots. i've let people and things and people and things get to me. perhaps you can also say that i'm not clued in and ready to do so many of the things i have had to take on, and had wanted to try. i lacked patience, experience, skill and an entire list of other things.
i do have temper and anger and unfortunately, intuition. Many a time, i could feel that something was wrong but had no means to fix it.
Nowadays my secret mantra (which i use to speak out loud a lot in the past, now less since it sounds negative to others. albeit when i accidentally let it slip in frustration) is 'why do i care. why is this my business as well?'. Actually the full mantra is 'why do i care? why is this my problem, too? should this be my business? it will only make things more complicated and i have ten thousand things on hand, clamouring for attention from people who mean more to me than this issue. oh, why, oh, why am i so busybody to want to help? to want to bother other people who don't want my help? hey, in fact i may not be equipped to help. so keep saying the mantra to remind yourself to mind your own business.'
There. Feels a wee bit better.
I just looked up the number of posts made since i started this blog - 94, making this effectively 95. I've always envied other people's nice blogs with a look of their own. Love Daphne's a lot.
Basically dots are getting to me. I mean i try never to wear polka dots to avoid looking clown-like, so why the heck did i choose this template? 'Cos the rest were either too staid or too odd. Maybe i should migrate ... if that is the word for it. Plus, all the music doesn't work anymore.
sigh ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shall i stop at hundred? i may be too lazy. but i won't stop completely because i enjoy an occasional write/rant like that. Just to prove i haven't lost me barely essential skills of writing, whatever that means.
Stop for a while. Too sleepy. As i click- 'publish post' - the time is 19 minutes past 12.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, FOLKS!
I have not fallen off the face of the earth, although some months, weeks, days ago - i felt like it in spots. i've let people and things and people and things get to me. perhaps you can also say that i'm not clued in and ready to do so many of the things i have had to take on, and had wanted to try. i lacked patience, experience, skill and an entire list of other things.
i do have temper and anger and unfortunately, intuition. Many a time, i could feel that something was wrong but had no means to fix it.
Nowadays my secret mantra (which i use to speak out loud a lot in the past, now less since it sounds negative to others. albeit when i accidentally let it slip in frustration) is 'why do i care. why is this my business as well?'. Actually the full mantra is 'why do i care? why is this my problem, too? should this be my business? it will only make things more complicated and i have ten thousand things on hand, clamouring for attention from people who mean more to me than this issue. oh, why, oh, why am i so busybody to want to help? to want to bother other people who don't want my help? hey, in fact i may not be equipped to help. so keep saying the mantra to remind yourself to mind your own business.'
There. Feels a wee bit better.
I just looked up the number of posts made since i started this blog - 94, making this effectively 95. I've always envied other people's nice blogs with a look of their own. Love Daphne's a lot.
Basically dots are getting to me. I mean i try never to wear polka dots to avoid looking clown-like, so why the heck did i choose this template? 'Cos the rest were either too staid or too odd. Maybe i should migrate ... if that is the word for it. Plus, all the music doesn't work anymore.
sigh ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shall i stop at hundred? i may be too lazy. but i won't stop completely because i enjoy an occasional write/rant like that. Just to prove i haven't lost me barely essential skills of writing, whatever that means.
Stop for a while. Too sleepy. As i click- 'publish post' - the time is 19 minutes past 12.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, FOLKS!
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